Boys Versus Girls

I'm the only girl in my house. At the weekend I'm utterly outnumbered by boys. They are both at that age where they are noticing differences between lads and lasses and my boobs get punched a lot. I do not encourage this.

Recent conversations regarding these differences include: -

Smallmad "I've got a winkie"
Me "really! I'm glad to hear it!"
Smallmad "Have you got a winkie?"
Me (trying to ignore the muffled laughter of his dad) "no, girls don't have winkies" (trying to ignore the suggestion from his dad that girls in Thailand do)
Smallmad (utterly mystified)" but...but... HOW DO YOU WEE?"

I explained that I had to crouch down and couldn't stand up. He feels very sorry for me as he particularly enjoys weeing outside. I think he sees it as a handicap that I have to crouch.

His elder brother, trying to be provocative one day, asked me about why girls had such big bums. I told him that girls store fat like camels do, except in their butts as they needed to be able to survive in times of hardship in the olden days, to protect their young. He glared at my bum thoughtfully for a while and then said. "I suppose yours really isn't very big actually, not like my mums is!"

Cue me being filled with a self-satisfied warm glow of not very generous-of-spirit smugness. For about five minutes BigMad was the perfect child!