The Boys on Water.

Chaos man is sometimes compelled to make impulsive purchases. His latest, fully endorsed by me, is a canoe. At first I was a little nervous about getting in it, especially because our nearest water-body is the Birmingham-Worcester canal. I informed him that I thought canals were full of scum and dead dogs but he reassured me that canals were now nice and clean, and devoid of ex-canines.

After kitting out the boys in little life-jackets, complete with whistles which were fully and enthusiastically being tested until I pointed out they didn't yet need rescuing, we headed down to the canal.

Before we left I mentioned grumpily that the canal would probably be full of scum and dead dogs so they needed to be careful in the boat in case they fell in. SmallMad was very excited and wanted to take his water pistol to "SHOOT THE DEAD DOGS!"

We inflated our craft, and launched it into the surprisingly pleasant-looking canal. Chaos man had a little go, then we plonked BigMad in the front with him. Father and son, with synchronized paddling and much cheering from us watchers on the bank, headed upstream through glorious countryside, past floating branches, a football, and past a dead duck.

On second glance it was realised the dead duck had a tail.

"DEAD DOG!!!!" screamed SmallMad in glee as I looked pointedly at ChaosMan, but he was too busy trying to steer the boat past the corpse to notice. The Jack Russell floated soggily and dead-ly on.

We swapped seats and I took BigMad out for another go. Whilst we were busy trying not to hit the bank, an elderly couple with their small dog had come down to the opposite bank, perhaps to enjoy the view, perhaps to watch this scene of familial joy. Whichever, SmallMad saw the dog and pointed at it, screaming "Dog! It's going to be DEAD!"

I think he may have been taken out of context slightly as the couple rapidly left.

Buy a canoe. It's fun for all the family. Except the dog.